Funny copywriting for a poop scooper business website

Whoa! I hope you find this message sifts through the spam and finds you well. No shit! So you woke up this fine morning and had a horrible smell in your backyard? You are thinking who made this mess. May be neighbor's did it?....OMG it's my dog. Would you like to get dressed and head to a dance party on the beach or would like to start your day picking the poop? Well fret not! We will do the shitty job for you....

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There's nothing worse than those slimy, wet piles of poop that kill your appetite and wreak havoc on your nostrils. Your dog just sits there and looks at you with a confused gaze, as if they are wondering why on Earth you're getting so close to their crap. Not only can I help write your sales page, I'll be a customer!

Too pooped to scoop? Can think of many other edgy intros. Let's chat online. Hope to hear from you. Liesa

Hi I am personally an Electrical Engineer. I am head of my team. Our team is new on this website. We will provide you best quality work in your given deadline. Its your choice if you work with us!!

Hello Client, Sample content you can expect- Did you just saw a man picking up a poop and making faces at you? well, don't worry you aren't that ugly, no one likes this job but our workers do, most of our employees look uglier than poop and can wipe the shit faster than the blood in your veins! call us now and get the best of our services. thanks, Can create better with some sort of instructions.